


i lowered my sword when you held me

by MageOfCole



Series: Children of Hope and Glory [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst and Feels, CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, F/M, Family Reunions, Female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fluff and Angst, Hurt CC-2224 | Cody, Hurt/Comfort, Mando'a, Mara is Cody's daughter, Mara is Obi-Wan's daughter, Memories, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Order 66, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Reunions, Scottish Gaelic, Tatooine (Star Wars), The Force, Unexpected Visitors, Unplanned Pregnancy, Utapau (Star Wars), the clones deserve better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22501750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MageOfCole/pseuds/MageOfCole
Summary: Her Kote returning to them had always seemed like an impossible dream, and while Ben Kenobi couldn’t get the medical supplies needed to save Cody’s life, Obi-Wan Kenobi could.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mara Jade & CT-7567 | Rex, Mara Jade & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-7567 | Rex
Series: Children of Hope and Glory [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616737
Comments: 8
Kudos: 448
Collections: TexWash's Must Reads and Rereads





	i lowered my sword when you held me

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from I Was an Island by Allison Weiss

Ben Kenobi doesn’t know what it is that draws her out into the Dune Sea of Tatooine this specific day; all she knows is that the Force is flowing around her, tugging her towards the sand, urgent and pleading as a small child pulling on her robes for attention. She’s watching Mara practicing her basic Mando’ade katas - she wants her beloved daughter to have a piece of her father’s culture; her little _pàisde_ has so much of Cody in her, so much loyalty, so much passion, her eyes shining with the same intelligence that burned through her _riduur_ , the sweetness that had caught her attention in the first place. All bundled together in her flame coloured daughter.

“ _Màthair_?” Mara pauses, her practice blade dipping as her golden-green eyes peer into the desert. “Something’s there.”

“I know, _ad’ika_.” Ben hums thoughtfully, “The Force is calling; go get your goggles and robe, Mara.” Whatever it is that the Force is calling her towards, it shows no sign of being dangerous, and she follows her excited daughter into their hut, gathering her own protective gear and gently smearing cream across her face to lessen sun burning, sliding a blaster into its holster and clipping her electro sword to her waist. While the Force isn’t warning her of danger, she learned in the wars to always plan for the worst outcome; she can’t carry her lightsaber, not without the fear of the design being recognized, so the weapon she had lifted from a Kage Warrior years ago had to suffice in its place.

Mara, unlike her mother, had her father’s skin and advanced healing, so burns were never an issue, but it didn’t stop Ben from gently applying some to the five year old’s face when her daughter comes trotting towards her, goggles nestled in her wild curls and a beaming smile on her round face.

Leaving the hut and pulling her hood up, Ben grabs their hover sled as an afterthought - it never hurts to be prepared, and one could never know what the sands would uncover as the wind shifted, or if it could prove valuable. Mara, the one good thing that had happened to her in the last five years, leaps onto the rusty painted sled and makes herself comfortable, and the two set off, lit by the twin suns of Tatooine.

( _Padmé is fading, skin clammy and feverish, eyes shining with tears but holding so much love as she stares at the infant girl, Leia, in her arms, then shifting her attention to her brother Luke in Obi-Wan’s grasp. The young Senator barely has the energy to turn her head, and Obi-Wan can’t understand_ why _\- the medical droids had done everything right, she had seemed_ fine _, but then suddenly her condition was worsening, the strength seeping from her like a broken faucet._

_“I’m scared.” The younger woman warbles, and Obi-Wan makes a heartbroken noise. “I don’t want to die.”_

_She doesn’t want to lose anyone else; the Order is gone, the few survivors scattered to the wind - Obi-Wan herself changed the Temple beacon to tell them to stay away - and Anakin has Fallen. Her beloved 212th, the men she had fought and bled beside had tried to kill her, on her sweet_ curaidh _'s orders; she had only gotten the barest warning, feeling Cody’s sudden panic, before his emotions and everything that made him her_ Kote _had been drowned by overwhelming emptiness that would have made her think that her husband was dead if not for the echoing_ **_Good soldiers follow orders_ ** _that spread through her men like a sickness._

 _“You’re strong, Padmé. You have your children to look after now, my dear.” Obi-Wan tries to hide her fear behind a smile as she places a comforting hand on the senator’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine.” She’s not quite sure who she’s comforting at this point. “You’ll be_ fine _.”_

 _The former queen’s eyes meet her own, the deep brown of Coruscanti chocolate, intelligent and desolate - they both know that there’s nothing else that the medical droids can do, but she continues to slip beyond their grasp. Something_ Dark _clings to her, suffocating, and Obi-Wan can’t tell if it’s the other woman’s bond with Anakin -_ Darth Vader _-, or if it had been left over from the new Sith’s attack. Obi-Wan reaches for it, brows furrowing as the malicious essence writhes angrily and lashes out, catching Obi-Wan's Force presence and latching on.  
_

_The Jedi Master stumbles away from Padmé, pained, the world darkening around her as her own inner Force fights against the invading Dark Essence, and the shrieking of machines fills her ears as Bail catches her and the droids rush around them. Luke is taken from her arms as she’s guided to a chair, Senator Organa’s voice filtering through her pounding ears._

_“What’s going on?!”_

_“Senator Amidala is fading quickly.”_

_Gasping, Obi-Wan squirms against the hands holding her down, trying to fight back to Padmé, to get rid of the parasite that is_ killing _her, but her hold on the Force is failing her as it fights against the piece that has latched itself onto her. As Padmé grows weaker, the Jedi can feel something_ else _growing in strength - using the young woman’s life force to make itself stronger. Obi-Wan struggles, trying to beat the oily presence away from the new mother, trying to shield the two children who already burn so brightly in the Force, trying to purge it from her own body - but she’s exhausted. She has rested properly since Dooku’s death, not since the last time she and Cody were together, just the two of them, and it’s weighing her down._

_And she fails._

_She awakens once more to find herself laying down on a medical cot, the sound of a wailing baby ringing in her ears and a harrowed looking Bail leaning over her, a frown on his handsome face, and tear stains on his face._

_“Padmé?” Obi-Wan rasps, but she knows the answer even before the senator shakes his head. “We have to protect the children.” She murmurs, and Bail peers down at her, eyes piercing._

_“Skywalker wasn’t the only one in a secret relationship.” She startles at his words, too tired to have complete control of her reactions and reflexes, and Bail’s eyes narrow. “Padmé’s children aren’t the only ones to come from a Jedi falling in love.” Confused, mind muddled from exhaustion and stress, Obi-Wan just stares back. Bail looks torn as he answers, “You’re pregnant, Obi-Wan, the medical droids confirmed it.”_ )

For five years, it’s just been Ben and Mara, two lost souls hiding from the Empire in the deserts of Tatooine, watching, waiting, training for the inevitable moment that they can’t hide any longer and they need to leave - to collect little Luke Skywalker from where she had hidden him all those years ago and tell him the truth about his linage. Her _Kote_ returning to them had never been part of the plan, an impossible dream, something she would never see because he was too deeply ingrained in the Empire according to Bail when she had asked all those years ago - Anakin has always been nothing if not possessive, and Commander Cody of the 212th Attack Battalion would have been his last link to the woman who raised him, kept protected at his side, a slave to whatever power stole his mind from him. She couldn’t risk looking for him, not yet, because she had Mara and Luke to protect.

Yet it Cody she finds, bleeding out a suffering under the suns of Tatooine for what must have been hours since whatever battle had left him in such a sorry state, mumbling madly under his breath before quieting as he falls unconscious once more, and Obi-Wan reaches out with the Force to sooth him as she lifts him onto the sled next to Mara, her brilliant little girl immediately jumping into action, shielding him from the sun as the exiled Jedi makes dashes back towards their solitary hut, augmenting her speed and strength with the Force for the first time since the Clone Wars.

( _Obi-Wan manages to secure herself a nice little hut a fair distance away the Lars homestead, close enough that she can be reached for help if needed, but far enough away that should the Empire track her down, they wouldn’t think about investigating the moisture farm nearby. It’s an old, run-down smugglers den from what Obi-Wan can tell, probably raided and abandoned at some point. The big cellar means that the Jedi-in-exile can hide the few treasures she managed to rescue from Coruscant - an old set of Mando’a armour gifted to her by Satine when they were teenagers, Qui Gon’s lightsaber, Anakin’s, a pair of Cody’s beaten vambraces, a few old Jedi books that Obi-Wan had never gotten around to returning to the Temple Library, among a few other things hidden away in crates - can be kept and Obi-Wan herself can practice her katas in secret. The 2-1B droid Bail had sent with her will eventually join the objects hidden under the hut, after her child is born, shut down unless and emergency required it because Obi-Wan won’t have any way to recharge it or replace damaged parts._

 _Pressing a gentle hand against her abdomen, she looks around her new home, studying old furniture that will need repairs, examining the ‘fresher - luckily still operational - and small kitchenette; she has quite a bit of work ahead of her to get the home in a livable enough condition before her pregnancy progresses too far for her to leave._ )

She ends up dragging the 2-1B med droid out from the cellar after she situates Cody on the only bed in the hut, having stripped him from his Stormtrooper armour down to the blacks he wore beneath them and shooed a curious Mara into the kitchen to continue her studies. The extent of his injuries is more than Ben, who’s specialty had never laid in healing beyond basic combat first aid, can handle; it’s really only by the will of the Force that the poor man is still alive after all the trauma his body had suffered in the Dune Sea, and all she can do is coax the unconscious man to drink as she cleans the blood from his aged face.

Hesitating, Obi-Wan presses a gentle hand against her _riduur_ ’s cheek, mournfully studying the new lines etched into his brown skin; she had known that the Clones were genetically engineered to age faster than other humans, but it had never quite hit her until she was staring at the proof in the form of her _cyare_ ’s gray hair and older face. In the five years she hadn’t seen him, her _Kote_ had aged ten - no longer in his prime, but still beautiful, withering away faster than any living being should because of the need of _replaceable soldiers_ in an unnecessary war.

“ _Ner’Kote_.” She murmurs, pressing a sweet, lingering kiss to the man’s sweaty brow. “My poor, sweet Cody.”

“My apologies Mistress Ben.” She straightens at the droid’s interruption, turning to look at the surgical droid. “I do not have the required supplies to aid the patient to my fullest. He will die.” Lips thinning, Ben looks down at her _riduur_ ’s face, feeling his pain and suffering through the Force, and she makes up her mind.

“I’ll get you the supplies you need, just save him.”

Ben Kenobi couldn’t get the medical supplies needed to save Cody’s life, but Obi-Wan Kenobi knew someone who _could_.

( _Ben Kenobi, the hermit of Tatooine’s Dune Sea, can’t be linked back to Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master and High General of the GAR; the desert planet itself is a good place to hide, being one of two places that Darth Vader would never return to - and the face of Master Kenobi is too well known on Naboo to hide effectively, the Inner Rim not secure enough to hide from Empire spies._

_Kenobi is a safe name to hide under - it’s a common Stewjoni name for the unwanted and abandoned, plenty Kenobis were drifting around the galaxy, and Obi-Wan never told Anakin the significance of the name Ben - but a Kenobi with a refined Coruscanti accent? It would be disastrous.  
_

_Her hair at least - an identifiable copper-red - has already lightened from the harsh suns of Tatooine and can be cut, plus she’s tanner, thinner, and leaner than she ever has been before because of the scarcity of food on Outer Rim planets; a Tatooine accent would be easy enough to adopt._

_The people who knew Obi-Wan Kenobi need to believe her dead, just another victim of the Jedi Massacre - it hurts her to ask Bail to lie to anyone who asks after her, especially those like Ahsoka, who is bound to have survived, being as far removed from the Jedi as she is, but she needs to protect Luke._

_She needs to protect the little life growing inside of her, the one connection she has to her beloved Cody, that isn’t a few pieces of old plastisteel armour hidden away to collect dust._ )

Bail answers her scrambled comm, and the senator promises to send supplies with someone who can be trusted with their secrets; in the time that it takes to reach her, however, Obi-Wan is stuck watching her _riduur_ writhe with pain and beg to die between feverish apologies to the dead. It _hurts_ , watching her brave, kind husband in pain, and all she can do is reach out with the Force to soothe his mind, to give him happy memories while she wants to cry - but she also has a small child to take care of, and she doesn’t want to panic Mara who glows with the Living Force so beautifully and is so aware of the emotions of others.

Cody projects, the shielding he had once had protecting his mind completely shredded, so Ben has to create a shield for him, because Force-sensitive children are susceptible to emotions in the Force, and Ben is stretched thin as it is, and a panicking child and suffering man are hard to deal with and comfort at the same time. Ben hasn’t told Mara just _who_ the man they’re treating is, but her daughter, _Cody_ ’s daughter, is as smart as her father - it won’t be long until she figures out the puzzle she’s been presented with.

It’s three days into her vigil at Cody’s side when she feels the approaching Force signature; a hauntingly familiar one that she hasn’t sensed in almost six years since he had been assigned to nearly the other side of the galaxy during the tail-end of the Wars, one that she thought was surely dead, or lost in the same way her 212th had been. It’s only because of her extended Force use that she senses him - she usually keeps her own signature close to her chest as to not catch attention to herself - but she does, and her chair clatters as she rises from it. There’s no aggression, no overwhelming emptiness, no **_Good soldiers follow orders_** , and Obi-Wan is hurrying to the door to her hut before she fully comprehends what’s going on.

Bail, that _bastard_ \- she knows what he meant now.

A broad figure dressed in protective robes dismounts from a speeder, white and blue armour barely visible under the brown fabric, goggles hiding his eyes and a scarf pulled over the lower half of his face. He still has the same blond hair as he had all those years ago, and Obi-Wan watches in stunned disbelief as he lifts a small crate from the back of the speeder, pushing his goggles up as he turns towards her, and she can see the exact moment that the man realizes who Bail had sent him to.

“ _Rex_.”

The blond Clone is frozen, staring at her with wide amber eyes, stiff under his robes, but he doesn’t drop the crate. “General Kenobi.” His voice is stilted, shocked, and she can feel the faint thrum of anger pulsing in his Force signature before the former captain reels the emotion back in behind his shields. “Thought you were dead.” He chokes out, and a half-hysterical laugh is his answer.

“Not yet.” She hesitates, looks over her shoulder and into the hut where Cody lays dying, to where Mara sits at the table quietly reading over old Jedi books and eating her dinner, then back to the former 501st Captain. “It’s good to see you again, Rex; please come in.” He follows her into the hut, and Obi-Wan doesn’t turn back to look at him when she approaches the side of the bed where Cody is laying.

Behind her, Rex’s breath catches, and she can hear the pained “ _Cody_.” He releases at the sight of his injured brother.

“Bring the supplies over here, please, Rex.” She insists, strained and stressed, and the Clone leaps into action, the crate clattering slightly when he places it on the small table pushed just far enough out of the way that neither Obi-Wan or the med droid would trip over it while they worked. The man is at her side in an instant, gently lifting Cody’s limp hand in his own as he stares at his brother’s face like a man possessed. Obi-Wan gently places a hand on his shoulder - much broader than she had last seen him, he’s grown; somehow, despite being clones of the same man, he’s so much larger than Cody’s narrower form.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, I happened upon him in the desert in a burnt camp.” She admits, “I assume the Imperials sent him, probably after a rebel, maybe a criminal, but he was left to die out there.”

Rex moans, lowering his head and cradling Cody’s hand to his brow. “ _Ori’vod_. Why didn’t you kriffing listen to me you _stubborn fool_?! You _should have listened_.”

“Well, I am grateful that you have brought the appropriate supplies, Master.” The 2-1B droid interrupts right as Obi-Wan’s eyes narrow at Rex’s statement, “The patient would not have survived the night without it!” Rex sobs at the words, and Obi-Wan stands, gently tugging Rex away to let the surgical droid work. “Would you like me to remove the damaged chip from the patient’s head while I am working, Mistress Ben?” Both Obi-Wan and Rex freeze in response, and the man stiffens under her hand.

He _snarls_ like a wounded beast, “ _Get rid of it_.”

“Of course, Master.”

With a sharp pull, Obi-Wan continues to lead Rex towards the dinner table, gently pushing the shaking man into the seat across from Mara - who has yet to be noticed by the Clone, she assumes the shock of seeing both Obi-Wan and Cody once more has left Rex a little slower on the uptake. His eyes are locked on Cody’s prone form, face pale and scared and _so_ angry. “What’s this about a chip, Rex?” Her voice is quiet as she lifts Mara from her chair, handing her her book and food and ushering her away so that the two adults can talk without scaring her, and Mara retreats towards the kitchenette.

“There was a chip.” The man whispers, stricken. “Fives found out about it and he died because of that knowledge; I tried to warn Cody, but he didn’t _believe_ me, and then Kix vanished - the only other _vod’e_ who knew, and he just vanished like he didn’t exist one day. I didn't want to risk anyone else being killed for knowing.” Troubled amber eyes, more brown than Cody’s golden, meet her own. “The chip would make us kill the Jedi - we’d have no choice. One order, and _all_ the Clones would turn their weapons on the nearest Jedi. It was called Order Sixty-Six.” On the bed, Cody jerks at the words, but remains unconscious, and Rex places shaking hands on the table. “I thought you were dead. I thought _Cody_ killed you, and that that would mean that _he_ was dead too - because he’d put a round through his own head if he ever woke up and learned what he had done.”

( _“Oh, I think you’ll be needing this.” Cody’s voice is amused, gently handing Obi-Wan her dropped ‘saber with a smile. Their fingers brush and linger, and Obi-Wan smirks flirtatiously at her Commander, thanking him playfully before_ Cody-and-Obi-Wan _has to become General Kenobi and Commander Cody, and the Jedi straightens on Boga’s back, grasping the varactyl’s reigns as she orders the Marshall Commander to gather the forces._

_They just need to route out the last of the droids on Utapau, and they’ll be done; all that would remain are peace talks between the Republic and the Separatists, and then they can finally rest._

_Finally openly claim each other as husband and wife - they’ll leave the fighting behind, buy a house and settle down, maybe get those chickens Cody was considering._

_And then suddenly, she’s feeling Cody’s_ **_horrorterrornononoDANGER_ ** _through the Force, before it vanishes into nothingness, and Cody becomes empty save for the chant of_ **_Good soldiers follow orders_ ** _that spreads through the men like a plague._

 _She’s turning, pulling the varactyl’s reigns, about to glance down at her men, when a shell from one of their cannons impacts the cliff just next to her, and Boga loses her grip on the rocky surface, sending Jedi and lizard plummeting down the massive pit._ )

“Kriff.” Obi-Wan moans, cradling her head in her hands, fingers knotting in her short hair as she lets the silence settle around her, trying to center herself with the noise of the med droid working to save her _Kote_ \- her wonderful Cody who had _suffered_ , who had ordered their men to kill her because of the chip implanting in his brain, in _all_ their brains. “ _Kark_.”

“That’s how I felt too.” Rex agrees, despondent.

The former Jedi lets out a slow, shuddering breath, forcefully running her hands through her hair, eyes staring at the ceiling as she leans back in the chair, trying to gather her thoughts. The two stew in the silence, interrupted only by the faint clinking of the droid off to the side as it goes about putting Cody back together.

“Why are you here, General?” Rex finally says, “Why not help the Rebellion? We could really use the help of a High General.” She hesitates, but meets his burning eyes; she can see the anger bubbling under the surface, the bitterness and grief.

“I had something to protect.”

“Something more important than _protecting the galaxy_?” He demands, and Obi-Wan presses her hands against the old wood of her table.

“For me?” She asks calmly, watching Rex bristle. “Yes.”

“What-”

“Mara, _ad’ika_ , come meet your _ba'vodu_.” The fight drains out of Rex immediately, lips parting in shock as Mara comes trotting down the steps separating the main area of the hut from the upper level. Obi-Wan can see his eyes scanning Mara’s frame, taking in her warm tan skin, her freckles and wild red-gold hair, her green eyes flecked with the same gold seen in the eyes of the _vod’e_ , before his gaze swings over to her mother, expression astounded.

“ _Su cuy'gar_ , _ba'vodu_.” Mara chirps brightly, “I’m Mara - Mara Jade Kenobi. Nice to meet you - I really like your hair!”

“ _Su cuy'gar,_ Mara.” Rex manages to choke out, and Mara beams, sticking out her hand for him to shake, which he takes, and Obi-Wan watches fondly as the _vod_ lifts his niece into his arms to press their foreheads together in a shaky Keldabe kiss, which Mara leans into. The two are still, for a moment, before Rex straightens and pulls Mara onto his lap, cradling the small girl against his chest, fingers brushing gently through red curls. “Cody?” He breaths, finally dragging his gaze from Mara’s face as she curls her head into his collar, to stare at Obi-Wan, and the former Jedi nods. “ _Kriff_.”

“That’s a bad word!” Mara’s head snaps up, leveling her uncle with the disapproving glare she inherited from her father, and Rex laughs helplessly, pressing his face into her curls and kissing her forehead.

“You’re definitely Cody’s _ad’ika_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Scottish Gaelic  
> pàisde "baby"  
> Màthair "mother"  
> curaidh "warrior/champion"
> 
> Mando'a  
> riduur "husband/wife"  
> ad’ika "little one/daughter/son"  
> Kote "glory" (name headcannon)  
> cyare "beloved/loved"  
> ner "my/mine"  
> ori "big"  
> vod "sibling/brother/sister"  
> ba'vodu "uncle"  
> Su cuy'gar "hello (lit. you're still alive)"


End file.
